My very, very best friends are not mothers. I was right there with them until I was 39. And yet, I run a conference for moms, which could alienate the very people I care most about. Last night we were talking about this. It’s not that they made a decision not to have children. It just hasn’t happened for them. And, yet, they are so nurturing and beautiful and loving and “mom-like” in more ways than I could ever be.
We all know, or have known or will know or will be a different kind of mom who deserves respect. We biological mothers need to remember that if she’s a step-parent, she’s a mom, if she’s a God parent or grandparent, she’s a mom, if she’s in the process of or has adopted a child, she’s a mom. If she dates someone with kids, she’s a mom. No two experiences are the same and none are better than others.
I’m saying this because I always want to celebrate moms but I want to extend this support to all the people in our lives who support motherhood as well. Friends, family, spouses and even co-workers play a part in the lives of our kids. In my case it’s the women in my book club, who aren’t all moms, but who hold a special place in my heart and the in the heart of my daughter. And of course, another non mom, my husband, who I never want to be “Mr. Mom” because he’s much too valuable as Dad.
We are all in this together. If you know any “non-moms” go give them a hug and explain how important they are in your life and the lives of your children. Remember, it takes a village.