By Melissa McGlashan, Contributing Writer
As we continue to agonize over whether or not to try for number two, I’m starting to feel the stress of time. I’ll be 36 in June; for the time being, I’m still without very many professional obligations to consider; and my three-and-a-half year old seems to be getting more independent every day, which makes taking on a second seem manageable, dare I say desirable.
I think we’re both at least a little jealous of everyone who got married knowing exactly how many kids they wanted. We, on the other hand, made things a lot more difficult for ourselves. We were decidedly against having any children when we married. We wanted to sleep in every Saturday and Sunday. To travel where we wanted, when we wanted. To sit back and enjoy double income, no kids while our friends were forced to share their fame and fortune with their offspring. To retire young.
It all sounds somewhat (though not entirely) lame, if slightly selfish now. But eventually, we just couldn’t resist the overwhelming temptation to procreate. We simply decided we’d regret it if we didn’t become parents. And, oh my god, are we so glad we took that plunge!
In my all-or-nothing style, I quickly found myself wanting to give up my perfectly good nine-to-five in favor of full-time domestic engineering. My saint of a husband agreed not only to assume the responsibility of sole breadwinner, but also to move across the country to Austin. As a native New Jerseyan, this was a big step. He wasn’t a huge fan of Texas, adoringly referring to our new hometown as, “the golden toilet bowl in the truck stop.” He also hates (really, really hates) the heat.
All this is to say, I can’t fault him when he tells me he has reservations about number two— when we met we didn’t even want one. I certainly don’t feel like he owes me anything after the sacrifices he’s made for our family.
But that’s not even the whole of it. I haven’t exactly been the strongest lobbyist. Do I really want to start over now? …just as the number of days my preschooler sleeps past daybreak are starting to gain on the number of days he’s up long before the rest of the world. …just as his growing independence is affording me more of my own. And do I really want to tempt fate?
So the real question is whether or not we feel like our family is complete. One thing’s for sure, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we went the rest of our days just the three of us. But then again, wouldn’t it be nice to welcome one more and give our son a sibling to grow up with? Frankly, the endless debate is boring me, and probably everyone around me too. The decision is ours for the making. Let’s just make it!
[infopane color=”8″ icon=”0001.png”]After receiving her undergraduate in Economics with Spanish from the University of the South in Sewanee, TN, Melissa McGlashan returned to her hometown of Austin, TX where she completed dual graduate degrees in Public Affairs and Latin American Studies from UT. Throughout her education, she traveled, studied and worked in several foreign countries. Melissa was awarded a Presidential Management Fellow in 2002, after which she spent almost nine years working in the U.S. Department of State. For the majority of that time, she worked as a Latin American political analyst in the Department’s intelligence arm, though she was also fortunate enough to spend nearly a year as a U.S. political officer in Havana, Bogota, Quito, and Buenos Aires. Currently, Melissa is enjoying her tenure back in Austin as a full time wife and mom of one while she considers her next professional move. [/infopane]