By Trish Morrison
It’s Thursday evening, I’m in the car and I have finally finished reading Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos. I’m crying. My daughter Delilah is in the back seat playing with her stuffed animals and her Polly Pockets and I realize that I have not resorted to giving her one bit of electronic entertainment, other than the TV in the hotel room, during our entire trip from Austin to Baton Rouge and back. I cry some more.
It’s fitting that I waited for our “workation” to still myself enough to sit down and read Instant Mom because Nia’s book spoke to me in so many ways during this trip. (I’ll call her Nia because after reading her book, I feel as though I’ve known her forever, that she’s an old friend who gets me like, in her words, CORE friends do.)
I’ve never had major fertility issues and I’ve never had the need or desire to have a child that Nia had. I never would have put myself through all that she went through to finally find her child, the one who was meant for her and Ian and their extended family. (Again, no formalities, Ian is the husband of a woman who knows me, who gets me.) Instead, after my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I went through a couple of unplanned pregnancies which ended in miscarriages, we were in denial that Delilah actually “took.” Rather than grateful and elated, we were confused and skeptical of how our futures would look.
So if Nia and I came at motherhood from completely different points of view, with different backgrounds with different motherhood issues, why am I crying as I close this book? Why have I cried (and laughed) throughout it? Why do Nia’s words hit me in the gut so significantly?
Instant Mom is not just a book about adoption. It’s a story about family, a story about women’s issues and it’s a story about motherhood. It’s not a book about a movie star who decided to adopt a child. Instant Mom is about love and struggle and honesty and finding the person you are meant to be. It’s about letting go so you let things come to you, the way they are meant to be yours.
That’s why I’m crying. I am a mother to a real, living, beautiful, perfect, intelligent, funny, amazing human being, one who doesn’t need an iPhone to entertain herself on long trips. A mother to a girl who runs down the hallway of a hotel hallway yelling, “Mommy, I’m a Cheetah!” and really believes for that moment she is. A child who is as amazed as much by the caterpillar on the sidewalk at the zoo as she is by the giraffes.
On this trip I’m not the CEO of a startup that I’m constantly obsessing about getting off the ground. I am a woman who needs to let go and let what’s meant to be happen, who needs to put less stress on myself for the things that don’t go right and more attention toward what’s really important. I am reminded throughout the trip and while reading Instant Mom, how truly lucky I am. No matter what else is happening in my life, I am a mother.
Thank you Nia for this beautiful, honest story.
[infopane color=”3″ icon=”0032.png”]Trish Morrison, MBA is the founder and CEO of MomCom® Life, an organization dedicated to creating community and fostering entrepreneurship for moms. Trish is addicted to women’s stories and believes we can change the world through telling ours. She lives in Austin, Texas with her hot firefighter husband Homero and her brilliant daughter Delilah. Trish is a proud feminist who can be found online at momcomlife.com or on Twitter @atxtrish and @momcomaustin. MomUP!®[/infopane]
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