First, there was the time before kids. You remember… when your name was, well, your name. Or at least a nickname. Or something close to your name from those people (like me, sadly!) who are truly awful at remembering people’s names.
And then your little one arrived. And you joined a Moms Club or a playgroup. And suddenly, one day without warning it happens. You introduce yourself as “[fill-in-your-baby’s-name]’s mom.” And the other person, more than likely follows suit. Oh sure, you might preface it with your own name, but the fact is, part of your name is now someone’s mom.
And that’s cool. Being someone’s mom is great. But it’s also kind of scary. One day you were just you, and now you were just as likely to be remembered by your child’s name as your own. Maybe even more.
And it doesn’t stop. I have a daughter in high school, and I am still often hailed by someone as “Catherine’s mom.”
So where is the YOU you remember?
I was reminded about this when I read a post about rediscovering your sexy after kids. The author talked about finding your new sexy as a mom, instead of trying to look for your old pre-baby sexy body or feelings. And that seemed to be kind of the same issue. She rediscovered her inner sexiness and self confidence by embracing her new self, and spending time with other moms who were exciting and interesting…that reminded her that she too was still all of those things. And more, now that she was also someone’s mommy. Or several someones’ mommy.
But for her, as for so many of us, it took that sense of community with other moms to bring that spark back.
So where’s my community?
Even if you work full time outside the home, or run a business from a home office, you are not the same person after kids as you were before kids. And even the best of friends or the most supportive of colleagues can’t quite get that new you if they don’t have kids of their own. Since forever, moms have needed other moms. (After all, who else will understand that story about the time your nursing bra snapped open in the middle of the mall, sending you running for the restroom while holding a shopping bag against your now very damp shirt! And yes, that happened to me!)
For the author of that blog post, she found sexy with other moms in a Bump Club. When my kids were little, it was a MomsClub that reminded me that I was still Lindsay, plus some great new additions. When the kids were with us, I was “Catherine’s Mom.” On game nights and moms-night-out, I was Lindsay. Not the same old Lindsay. A new, enhanced version, but without the bugs of a Microsoft update.
Now, it’s groups like MomCom, where I can get to know other moms — and can be reminded that being a mom doesn’t take away my awesome. I get to see all kinds of moms being all kinds of awesome. And they see me that way, too. And for just a little while, I get to be Lindsay. A mom…and so much more.
So where do you find yourself, as moms, as women, as you? We’d love to hear your story!